A woman in New Brunswick nearly ended her life yesterday night, when the room she was sleeping in became filled with methane gas. Lora Peacock, a resident of the tribe of Quispamsis, situated in New Brunswick, was found lying in her bed unconscious. Ms. Peacock's brother made the discovery, and then courageously crawled through the stagnant fumes, to drag Ms. Peacock's body out of the room. The ambulance crew that arrived minutes later on horseback reported they have never encountered anything like Ms. Peacock. "It was soon evident to us that Ms. Peacock had unknowingly created the toxic environment in her room," said the tribal doctor. "Apparently, her diet

consisted of beans, cheese, and other gas creating foods." Meredith Dickee, a close friend to Ms. Peacock, was not surprised to hear of Ms. Peacock's unfortunate calamity. "We call her Fart Queen," said Ms. Dickee. We did not question Ms. Dickee any further on this subject, but there must surely be a story all on it's own behind this comment. The hapless Ms. Peacock is being held in the local hospital teepee in Quispamsis, which unfortunately has only one door. Holes have been ripped in the walls of the teepee, and tribesmen are fanning out the air to prevent a recurring incident in the tribal hospital.